Updated: Sep 2, 2021
Once upon a time I thought I wasn´t creative.
I spent the majority of my growth admiring the talents of my father ( who was a writer ) and my sister ( who is a writer, actress and musician ) from very far away.
Part of me wished to know what was like to bring words or images into paper, and music into the body.
At some point I let my conditioned believe to take over in the playground of my unconscious, and I firmly decided to be good at something else so I could receive the admiration I was only seeing in others.
I fought like a warrior to be excellent at the things were hard work for me: maths, physics and chemistry. I lived my teenager years within an intertwining of looking for acclamation and wanting perfection.
" Could I ever be seen fully ? " was the pain my soul was claiming in my young body.
That was a tough journey of needing to prove myself right and enough in all these vulnerable years of growth. I got the best grades, of course, but also an eating disorder which left me more far away from living with joy and playfulness.
Some years forward, I found yoga ( or yoga found me as my sister always said ) and that was the beginning of living differently:
With full attention, from inside out, to connect my world with the outside one.
With yoga I discovered tools to become more aware of my own emotions, sensations, thoughts, and of course beliefs.
With yoga I learnt the art of creating questions to live healthily and wisely. I did not take for granted all what I could possibly not know.
Was it really true that I wasn't creative ? As was it really true that I wasn't enough to be seen ?
The more I was learning to place attention within, the less I needed to find confirmation of my own value ( as human being ) outside myself.
I did realise that our wholeness is not based in our capacity to be perfect but only in the one to not be ( what a great relief ! ).
And so life started to feel more life a flow and less like a resistance of needing to control my own performance in order to feel loved and accepted.
At then, at some point, without thinking or planning I started to write.
I started to share parts of my life in social media. The more I was writing, the more of myself I was feeling ( like a new person though ) and the more my belief that I wasn't creative enough was vanishing away from my existence.
Writing did not make me more creative, it did make me less afraid being creative.
Then I knew that creativity is much to do with freeing ourselves into who we are, and the only obstacles we come across are limiting beliefs that are only wanting to become greater possibilities.
By today, I cannot imagine a life without creativity happening in all kind of ways :
* I don't bury my dreams, instead I give them form patiently and lovingly.
* Through exercising writing, I have found other creative hobbies like photography and videography.
* I have bravely dared to start my own creative project called Naturality ( life seasons through yoga ).
* And mostly, mostly I am practicing to be more of me day by day. Not the Super-Leticia who is perfect and unbreakable but the one who is vulnerable, human and does not need to aim for the perfect day to show up, and for this the greatest creative practice has been yoga.
Yoga has taught me to not settle for a smaller version of me but to root for the most expanded who trusts herself, and knows how to navigate through the ebbs and flows of life.
An authentic life will never be perfect, will never makes us feel like we need to be constantly in control and it will show up like all the seasons do ( with darkness and lightness ). Life is authentic per se, always, and we align with it when we tune fully with ourselves and discover the power of becoming as many times as necessary.
Now I know that whenever I find admiration in others, my soul is mirroring whatever is within me too, and that is the greatest gift I can possibly know.
We are here to walk each other home. May we do it rather with attention and love.