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WHEN RESTING IS MEDICINE




I am writing these words while the clock has already gone one hour back on time.


The morning rises later while letting us indulge into more sleeping time. It feels good to be cuddled in some resting, like permission given to be in arms of nothingness which my body always appreciates highly.


I used to loathe sleep. Mostly because years ago I was living skittishly through travelling around the world and, at some point, residing between three places at time.


My body was constantly jet lagged and I hardly recall the time of reposing for eight hours in a row, maybe only after the effects of melatonin.


I was truly suffering because I did not know how to stop, and indeed the pressure I was putting on me did not let me stop. Even though I was practicing yoga and going to the gym to feel better in my body, the way I was doing it was to rather feel more in control.


My sleeping never got better though, did not matter the amount of yoga, gym, meditation or healthy eating. As I was carrying with this life I went through two huge burnouts which woke me to some realisations. One of them was that as some point I had to quit my job and change my lifestyle.



***



The mind does not like the unknown, or better said is not well programmed for it.


Even though I knew what I had to do, it took me a while to leap into a new life, to let go of the old, and embed something new which totally enhanced my relationship with sleeping.


Having a more stable living in one place, and without the constant flying and clock changes, really suited me. I learnt to love resting and respecting my body on this, and this is something I have been applying until now.



***



As the autumn is slowly moving towards the winter season, I can feel how I am also adjusting with the demands of nature.


I need to go slower and be bathed by deeper gentleness and listening.


Though I catch my mind frequently when is trying to tell me that I should keep moving fast, producing highly and holding my own joy under control. I want to go there, because is the first time in my life that I feel I am doing something that is food for my soul. Many times, though, I feel I do reach my limits, and I have to be humble enough to not force my evolution.


Fall and winter tell us about a layer of growth keenly interesting and, at times, difficult to digest: that our quality of living is not only balanced from our outside performance but also from our inside one, and to navigate inwardly we can only do it like fish in water with a sense of fluidity and ease.


Last week I was conflicted in my mind, mostly because I was truly immersed in a thought that it wasn't even real ( I had not logical evidence for it ). I felt I wasn't reaching my limits, that I was being a fraud and disappointment for me and others. It was intense and extremely uncomfortable but I did not run away: I stayed and ask questions.


What Is This About ? What Can I Do To Feel Better ?


I had to repeat the above as many times as necessary with breath and deep attention. At some point I heard a soft voice within that felt like a true affirmation :


" Relax woman, you are doing all what you can, and for the rest you don't need to know. So let it be, let things unfold at their own time. Do nothing, rest, play and trust the cultivated wisdom within you ".


This is what I have been applying until today as I am sharing these words with you.


I am still me. I am still worth it in ease. I am still in deserving of prosperity when I surrender.


There are thousands voices in our heads that are programmed to always makes us flee from the present moment, and to live with this is truly exhausting.


Even difficult and challenging, if we learn to stay and soothe the lyrics we are used to, we can only find our true nature underneath, that is never on demand and wise enough to give us queues of how to proceed.


Do You Trust This ?


***



As the end of the year unfolds slowly, I want to practice to be present. To not rush myself for a new Christmas to arrive to feel better within the season.


Maybe the moment is always felt like a given if we learnt to align well. If we learnt to stay with all that it is, with true kindness and care.


I look at the trees outside my window that know wisely and hibernate magically. They are resting.


And I want to follow.


May it be then.


Much love,

















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