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WHAT IS HAPPINESS


True is that is difficult for me to speak about happiness,


especially through the last couple of years of my life in which what I have experienced the most has been grief and sadness.


I never though had a grounded emotional education. I was assumed that if I followed certain steps in life I could get to a state of satisfaction.


I guess this was missing for many of us ( generation X ), and we just had to follow our way through with the tools we had.


It wasn't until I started to recognise my own pain ( without blaming others unconsciously ) that a new door opened for me.


That was a beginning to start living differently, to start being responsible of my own internal life while recognising who I was in my own feelings.


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Happiness does not exist without sadness. At least this is what is true for me.


And still, after many generations passing by, is difficult for many of us to let us be seen embodying our real feelings.


I keep wondering why ?


Maybe is the layer we have forgotten that makes us whole and beautifully human. Our vulnerability gives us strength instead of weakness.


The more I have learnt to be OK being sad, and to create also art from it, the more I know how happiness feels.



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Like all feelings, happiness comes and goes. And like all feelings we need to move ( communicate, express, release ) with them in order to have a healthy and sustainable emotional life.


We live in societies obsessed with HAPPINESS because we also live in societies AFRAID OF SADNESS.


For me there is more than this. My goal in life is not to be constantly happy, this would be inhuman.


My goal in life IS TO HAVE THE WISDOM TO KNOW HOW TO REGULATE MY OWN NERVOUS SYSTEM, SO I CAN HAVE ACCESS TO EASE ( OR PEACE).


This is what I have learnt after processing tons of grief. With grief you can never say that you are done. Maybe the ego will try to convince you of it, until one day through the unexpected the cold pain arrives again, and you just have to surrender and let it be.


And what a relief, to surrender to one's true emotions and feel empty to be filled again!


And what a relief to not be ashamed to be seen with the most natural thing that is part of our nature: to relate through our feelings.


And what a relief to feel peace to be free.


Maybe the goal in life shouldn't be happiness, maybe we should ask better questions to ourselves:


What Am I Doing To Be At Ease ? What Am I Doing To Feel Free ?


Much love,




















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